This month’s topic is a look at something that’s rarely discussed in the business world. It is the role that negative emotions play at work and how they can affect performance.
Jim CastigliaNo one denies the power of emotions. Were you ever moved unexpectedly by a song, a sunset, a surprising thank-you card, or an out-of-the-blue death of someone close? Yes, you were emotionally moved, and it likely came out of nowhere!
The media presents emotionalized reports to ensure maximum attention. Emotions attract eyeballs. Have you ever yelled at the TV?
The Definition of Emotion
Before we go deeper, consider this definition of emotion: a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. Instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge. From the French émotion, from émouvoir ‘excite’, from Latin emovere, from ex ‘out’ + movere ‘move.’
Are you emotionally intelligent? Are you sensitive to your emotions and the emotions of the people around you? Or, are you emotionally ignorant? Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, to control, and to express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathically. Emotional intelligence is a key to personal and professional success.
But being emotional at work, particularly overreacting, is embarrassing and practically taboo. People often perceive it as a personality defect or weakness.
Since you’re human with emotions, you prefer staying within your psychological comfort zones. You don’t want to be caught off guard by strong emotions.
Keep in an Acceptable, Narrow Range
The most common approach you learn for dealing with your emotions is to avoid having them. Keep your emotions within a manageable, acceptable range. Avoid people who tend toward intense emotions. Unfortunately, because you avoid, you never learn how to handle unfamiliar and unpredictable levels of intense emotions, not only at home, but also at work.
So, what do you do when you or one of your direct reports feels overwhelmed by having more work than they think they can handle? Or you’re discouraged by a project failure or lost sale, or you have to deal with workplace hostility, or you’re frustrated because one of your subordinates doesn’t measure up?
“Emotions are valuable signals or road signs designed to point you in the direction you need to go and supply you with the precise energy best suited to responding appropriately.” (Edwards)
Consciously use your emotions to guide you forward and fuel your progress. Becoming fluent in the language of emotions will make you a more effective and inspirational leader, a more complete team member, and a more powerful force in every aspect of your life.
Examples That Can Help
Anger is a sign that you believe there’s a threat to your well-being. You must take action to stop that threat or to prevent what’s happening. Anger is an intense emotion. It can be uncomfortable to experience. Yet, you can use its energy to move you to action. Focus on what you can accomplish with its energy?
Overwhelm is another common feeling in today’s world. It’s a sign that you’re trying to do too much. Here’s a powerful strategy to address it. It’s called the STOP technique. Instead of trying to move faster and do more, slow down and sit quietly somewhere where you won’t be disturbed. Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself. Next, think about what you really need to accomplish as opposed to everything else you’re supposed to do that may be less important. Then, organize yourself to place top priority on the results that really matter. Finally, perform tasks based on your priority system, checking your results to ensure that you are meeting your goals.
Remember that your emotions are what make you human. You can change your perspective, especially regarding negative emotions, and see that emotions are valuable messengers you don’t have to avoid or resist; they can point you toward appropriate action.
Contact me if you have any questions.
Jim Castiglia is the founder of Business Street Fighter Consulting, supporting entrepreneurial business owners in their desire to grow and maximize the value of their businesses. You can reach him at email, jvcastiglia@icloud.com, or text me at 949.338.7141.
